nightmares? nightmares!

[heartslight]

[ So it's been a few days since the Mark of Mastery exam, and during their time staying in Yen Sid's tower, Kairi's noticed Sora's been a little ... off. He hasn't been full of cheer, like he usually is — even just the smallest bit missing, and Kairi'd notice. She's one of a few people who knows him like the back of their hand. The boy wears his heart on his sleeve, after all.

It's clear that something's been bothering him, but to what extent exactly, she wouldn't know. But she's sure it has to do with what happened during their exam — he failed it, after all. Maybe he's a little broken up about it?

So she keeps relatively close to him whenever possible, just in case he needs her for anything. But she can't help but speak up when she notices him trip a little while going up the stairs around bedtime one night, thanks to the lack of coordination that comes with a lack of sleep.

And she's quick to close the gap between them and rush to his side. ]

Sora! Are you okay?

Comments

[heartslight]

[ Oh, Sora ... She notices that strange look he has — like there's something he wants to say.

But she just smiles back at him, to remain reassuring, and then she follows along at his side as they ascend the tower and pass the windows. She sees the night sky and its stars completely differently from him, at the moment — she finds it beautiful, all those worlds out there, and she smiles softly at the sight of it before noticing Sora's demeanor change again.

Which ends up being the trigger for her to finally speak up a little more seriously. There's clearly something going on that she's not aware of, and if it's causing her friend to look this way, then she wants to know. She's not fond of being out of the loop — she'd been left out for so long. ]

Sora. [ She stops him from advancing to his room, which happens to be right down the hall and visible from here, by putting a hand on his shoulder — though her touch is soft, as she's not really the type to be over-assertive physically with her friends. ]

Are you sure you're okay?

[oathkeeper]

[Her voice breaks Sora out of his daze, soft and gentle as she usually is. He looks to her and he tries to smile but it's a weak one. There's so much his heart wants to say to her and his lungs fill with air while he tries to get the words out.]

I'm just-

[He sighs. He's never been all that great with keeping things from her. Not for any longer than a few days. He's downright bad at it.]

I'm tired, Kairi. Really, really tired. But I can't sleep at all lately.

[He glances at his door and he fidgets a moment before he asks,]

Can we talk for a while?

[heartslight]

[ Ah, she knew it ... She knew something was really wrong. It's true that he's not good at this, but she has no intention to call him out or say "I knew it" or anything like that. She's here to support her friend, and now that he's opened up to it, she's able to do so. Which is a relief in and of itself. It's a start — baby steps.

She keeps her hand on his shoulder as she leans in a little, concern clear on her face, but her expression still soft. ]

Yeah. Of course we can.

[ She switches the position of her hand to be more halfway between his shoulder and his back, as a sort of support for him, just in case. And a way to gently show him that she wants to guide him forward. ]

Come on, let's get you to your bed first.

[ So they can talk more comfortably. And so he doesn't have to put so much effort into standing, if he's really tired. ]

[oathkeeper]

[He's dead weight on his feet but somehow even the gentle touch of her hand warm on his back has a small genuine smile lift on his expression. She's always been good at that, able to help Sora find little pockets of energy when he needs it.]

Sorry to keep you from your beauty sleep, Kairi.

[He teases gently with a chuckle before they head to his room. It's quiet in here, the curtains already pulled back to let in the moonlight as if Sora can't attempt sleep without them open. His things are scattered in some sort of organized chaos but it's not necessarily messy. His bed is made, which is somewhat of a shock. Maybe it was one of the good fairies who attempted to keep things tidy?

He shuffles off to kick off his shoes and then flops down on the bed with a heavy sigh.]

Have you ever had big dreams that you remember them all day? And the next day too?

[heartslight]

[ Gosh, Sora, still awake enough to joke, huh. She just laughs softly at it. ]

Come on, you. Yours is more important.

[ Just joking right back! But also half true, in the sense that his ability to sleep is more important to her than her own right now. She feels no sadness skipping out on her own sleep to help his.

But she follows him right into his room, looking around at the ... relative sora-esque mess before taking off her own shoes a little more gracefully and setting them next to his. Then she sits on the edge of his bed. It's an interesting question he asks, but it has an easy enough answer. ]

Yeah. Sometimes. [ Turning towards him. ] Is that what's been happening to you?

[oathkeeper]

[He feels a bit nervous for a fraction of a second, it bubbling inside his lungs. He can't remember the last time he sat with Kairi like this, just the two of them. He can't help the tiny goofy smile he gets despite the weight of the conversation.]

Yeah. Sort of. When I sleep I keep having this one dream over and over and when I wake up it feels like it was real. Most dreams fade away when you wake up but this one just keeps coming back and won't go away.

[He shrugs, hand coming up to ruffle at his hair.]

It's really annoying, actually...!

[heartslight]

[ Hmm. Sure she's had recurring dreams in the past. And she's had dreams that stick around in her memories for a while after she's had them. But she's thinking his situation is a little more extreme than the norm, especially if it's been keeping him from getting any sleep.

But there's one more thing she needs to know to figure out his situation. ]

What's the dream about?

[ Maybe talking about it will help? ]

[oathkeeper]

Er ...

[Here's the part where Sora tells her all about his dreams about the darkness and being afraid of the dark and her thinking he's really super uncool for it...

Here goes nothing!]

It's like... I'm ... floating in the ocean. But the water and everything around me is dark? And it feels like I'm drowning even if I can breathe under the water and then something coils up around my neck and squeezes. Like someone's hands.

[This seems like pretty dark stuff for a 'dream'.]

[heartslight]

[ Oh ........ Yeah, that's concerning levels of dark. Especially for Sora. She listens quietly while he explains it to her, but the expression on her face visibly drops by the end of it, to something sad. Something concerned. ]

And you've been having that dream every night ... No wonder you're tired ...

[ And he said it feels like it was real? That makes it even worse.

But she's far from thinking he's uncool. He's still the same Sora he's always been, just now he's going through something and he needs help with it. ]

Is that when you usually wake up?

[ Just making sure there's nothing more to this. She's glad he's opening up to her about it and she wants to help as much as she can here. ]

[oathkeeper]

[He sighs a little sheepishly before he nods.]

Everything starts going black and I can't see anything but I can feel someone trying to hurt me. And it feels like I'm never going to get away. Then I wake up right before I think I can't make it.

[The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness is probably the worst part of it. And he knows who those hands are that are trying to hurt him. Trying to choke out his life. But he doesn't want to say so yet.]

It's weird... right?

[heartslight]

[ That's ... honestly really upsetting for her to hear about. The fact that he's been experiencing something like that at all is heartbreaking, but it being repeated? Every night? And there's no guarantee that it's only happening once per night, too. She hates the idea of her friends suffering. ]

Yeah, a little. [ At least, if it's coming out of no where, it's pretty weird. Unless someone's trying to get to him through his dreams? Is that possible? ]

There's got to be something causing this, right? And a way to stop it. Maybe the way you're sleeping or ... or something.

[ Maybe sleeping on his side vs his back. Or sleeping with the lights on or off. Or anything! Is he eating something weird before he goes to sleep? Ugh, she doesn't know much about this stuff but she can't help but run her mind a mile a minute to try to find some answer here. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Sora looks down for a moment. His shoulders tremble slightly as he relives some parts of the nightmare in his head as he tries to think of what could be causing it.

Well... He has a pretty good idea what might.]

I ... I think it's because of what happened during my mastery exam. Did Riku tell you much about it? [He swallows awkwardly.] We got stuck. I got stuck...

[And how to fix it--? He has no idea.]

And I've tried everything. Sleeping in different positions, going to sleep earlier, going to sleep more tired after training??

[heartslight]

[ That makes her stomach drop a little. What's he talking about? She shakes her head. ]

What do you mean, you got stuck? Riku didn't tell me anything ... [ Just that Sora failed, and Riku passed. That's all she really knows right now.

She takes note of the fact that nothing is working to help him fall asleep, and she'll definitely try to work through that in a moment, but first she needs to know what he meant by getting stuck. ]

What happened, Sora?

[ She leans in a little as she says that. She really needs to know, she thinks. ]

[oathkeeper]

[He takes in a shaky breath. He really dislikes worrying her and that look she gets on her face when she is worried just breaks his heart.]

Er ... At the end of our exams, there was a trap laid out for us. We didn't see it until it was too late. I got trapped in this nightmare.

[He rubs a hand through his hair again.]

Xehanort did it... He tried to take my body for himself.

[Gross old man tries to touch boy's body, news at 11.]

[heartslight]

[ There are not a lot of things worse than hearing a gross old man tried to take the boy you like's body. She only has a vague idea of what's going on with Xehanort and such, from listening to conversations the boys have had with Yen Sid and the like. But she knows he's bad news — all of this is bad news. And it breaks her heart to hear that ... that happened.

Just thinking about it makes her upset. About him suffering like that. About almost losing him. And having no idea.

Immediately, she reacts with an impulsive: ] What? [ With heartbreak and a little panic in her eyes.

And then she reigns it in a little, and glances down for a moment. ] So that's ... why you're having nightmares.

[ Closing her eyes and breathing for a moment, before placing a hand on Sora's arm. ] Why didn't you tell me? We're in this together, aren't we?

[ She's tired of being left out of everything, and she's told them that. She wants to be involved — wants to help. And even if she can't help with this — she could've lost him and she had no idea. And that bothers her. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Sora presses his lips together, feeling a sting of some guilt in the pit of his stomach. He's always known that Kairi was strong, that she could stand on her own two legs and fight if she wanted to. She's just never gotten the chance to do those things yet. And perhaps Sora and Riku are just a bit too protective about a few things too... That's why they haven't told her everything like they should have.

He reaches to hold his hand over hers on his arm before he gently takes her hand to hold in both of his. He looks to her with a tired smile but the look in his eye is genuine.]

I'm sorry, Kairi... I just really didn't want to worry you. I'm supposed to be the one to protect you, right...?

[He's the one who's supposed to protect everyone and yet here he is having Nightmares.]

I know I should rely on you more too... [It's just hard. When the whole universe is looking at him. His shoulders tremble some more as some tears start to sting his eyes that he tries so hard to fight back.]

[heartslight]

[ Maybe everyone's ... putting too much on him. She knows he's always protected her in the past, and she's appreciated it and always known she could count on him tenfold. But he can't be trying to keep everything on his own shoulders when it's clearly hurting him. The last thing in the world she wants is for him to be hurting.

She knows that telling him he doesn't need to protect her is going to be impossible — it's in his nature to do so. And had he not protected her in the past, she wouldn't be here today. But ...

She places her free hand on top of his, and squeezes it a little before slowly slipping both of her hands away.

And then ... wrapping her arms around him in a hug. Don't think she didn't see the glossiness of your eyes, honey. ]

Protecting me ... doesn't mean I can't protect you, too. [ The same goes for Riku, of course. But he's not the one suffering from nightmares right now. (She hopes.) ]

I'm right here. And I'm staying right here until I know you're okay.

[ If that means she's sleeping with him tonight, then so be it! She'll fight off those nightmares no matter what it takes. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Sora never admits it out loud but maybe a part of him really is scared of being that one person that everyone is relying on to save them. That hero of light that has a strong enough heart to be the one to save the universe. Roxas said so to him... 'it has to be him' and it can't be anyone else. He does his best to live up to that, to smile and to fight with all of his heart. But there is a little spark of darkness inside him that scares him because he really is just one boy. One person. What if he fails? What if he's not strong enough to do these things--

... And he knows that's why he failed his exam. That's why Xehanort was able to trap him in that nightmare surrounded by an ocean of bleak darkness.

Sora is only as strong as the people around him are. And he ... He knows that.

The warmth of her hug has him choke back a small sob as he tries so hard to keep it together in front of her. But to feel her arms around him anchors him to something that's real and he can't keep bottling those nightmares up. Tears drop from his eyes and his arms come to hold her, securely, but also with such trembling shoulders.]

I don't think I could do anything... without you. That's how you protect me.

[The thought that she's there, thinking of him, has always been the one thing that's kept him on his feet indefinitely.]

... [After a moment of quiet sobbing Sora inhales slowly and then asks against her temple,] Can you stay here with me tonight?

[heartslight]

[ She can feel his trembling — his fear, his sadness. And that only prompts her to hug him a little tighter. There's nothing in the world she hates more than to see her closest friends going through something painful — but this time, she's here with him. She may not have been able to do anything for him on his previous journeys — through no fault of her own, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating. But this time, she's right here, and she'll be damned if she doesn't do anything she can for him.

She smiles softly when he explains how she protects him, and then she pushes the side of her head against his a little when he asks his question. ]

Of course. That way, I can fight the nightmares off in person.

[ She says that with a light tone to her voice, almost as a way to calm the air between the two of them and maybe even calm him down a little. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Her tone gets him to laugh a small puff of laughter as he squeezes her back.]

Geeze, this time I guess you get to be the knight in shining armour.

[About time, really.

He loosens his hold on her just a little so he can look at her face with his small tired smile. Then he realizes that this will sort of be like a slumber party or something and... His cheeks feel a little warm. Gosh.]

Er, there's just... my...

[THERE'S ONLY ONE BED.]

[heartslight]

[ She laughs softly at his observation. ]

Yeah, I guess I do.

[ She's happy to be the knight in shining armor. Let her fight off everything for you, Sora! She's been waiting for this!

But also Sora, please, you're gonna have to finish that sentence. She can't read minds! And she's prone to being oblivious about these sorts of things sometimes. So she looks at him a little curiously. ]

Just your what?

[ Is something wrong? ]

[oathkeeper]

[She's going to make him say it out loud?! This is an attack--]

Um...!

[The thing is he doesn't want her to leave the other thing is she'll should probably share the bed with him then. And than means sharing a bed with a GIRL.]

There's just ........ [SORA SAY IT] my bed. But I could just sleep on the floor or something!

[heartslight]

[ Oh gosh ... Sora ... That was it? ]

Wha — [ Okay, now she's giggling at him. He's so very ... him. ]

You're not sleeping on the floor, silly. We'll just share the bed. It'll be just like when we were younger.

[ They had plenty of sleepovers as children — the three of them. Just ... they haven't had any in a little while, and now they're older, and have (not so secret) crushes on each other and ... yeah. Whatever, at least one of them is being calm about it, right? ]

[oathkeeper]

[That cute giggling only makes Sora's blush on his cheeks worse. Good greif.]

Er- Yeah... Okay, yeah! Just like when we were little.

[Be cool, Sora. It's definitely one hundred percent not like when they were little. When they were four years old all they cared about were cookies and drawing pictures together. Sharing a bed was no big deal. But now? ... Well. They're not little. Kairi is pretty and she's soft and she's ...

He might be a little giddy though. Just as much as he's nervous.

Sora moves to tuck back the blankets.]

Don't get mad if I snore, okay?

[heartslight]

[ Yep, just like when they were little, except completely not. Kairi's at least better at keeping her own feelings in check, or being more casual about them than he is, but ... yeah. He's so warm, and the kindest person she knows. It's hard for her heart not to feel a little excited to sleep with him again.

But she lets out a small breathy laugh at his comment, as she moves herself back on the bed so that she can be ready to get under the covers once they're pulled back. ]

I won't. [ And a little slyly, clearly joking: ] I'll just make fun of you for it in the morning.

[oathkeeper]

Hey... Come on! Give me a break!

[He chuckles again before he hops off the bed to turn out the lights. The moonlight shines through the window and he still doesn't want to close the blinds so he leaves them like that. It makes enough light in the room that he can still see her. Sora moves to pull back the blankets for them and he crawls in, leaving enough room for her to settle next to him.

He feels his heart thumping a little faster too.]

Thanks, Kairi. For staying here tonight.

[heartslight]

[ However he wants to sleep is fine by her. Even if he wanted to keep all the lights on. She's here for him, after all. But the moonlight is pretty anyway, and she's glad to still be able to see him, mostly because it means she'll be able to tell if anything's off with him.

She settles in right next to him, getting comfortable under the blankets and laying on her side so that she's facing him. And she smiles warmly. ]

You don't have to thank me, Sora. I'm here for you whenever you need me ... because I want to be.

[ She doesn't see this as taking anything away from her normal nights. She'd much rather be with him, whether he's feeling sad or not. The way her heart feels right now ... She's worried for him, of course, but it also feels warmer than usual. Because she's next to him. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Once they're both settled down in the covers together and face to face on their sides, Sora smiles warmly too. It's honestly so nice and wonderful to have her warm body next to him as it already makes that tense feeling in his shoulders feel less so. Why hasn't he asked her to sleep in his bed with him before? It's nice to not feel alone.

He can feel his heart thumping a little quicker in his chest, though. A rushing thump-thump. And if he wasn't so tired and exhausted he might not even be able to sleep like this.

Gosh. She's so pretty.]

Good. Uh, I mean. I'm glad.

[He's super smooth. Like, what does he even do with his hands?]

It's nice not being alone.

[heartslight]

[ Sora, honey, you don't have to do anything with your hands because you're laying down. Relax them. Unless you want to do something with your hands, in which case that's going to have to be handled on a case-by-case basis.

She gives a small, smiley nod at his last statement. She'll let his "smoothness" slide. ]

Yeah. [ And this is half with a joking tone, but also she's a little serious with it: ] Maybe we should do this even after your nightmares go away.

[ Leave it to Kairi to blurt things out sometimes. Is she serious? Who knows??

What she does know, though, is that she's happy like this, with him, here. She's going to be protecting him tonight — that much is certain — but being by him still never fails to give her an unwavering feeling of safety and warmth. Like she's at home, even if they're far from it. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Is she serious? IS SHE SERIOUS. He hopes so-- But that is enough to have Sora's cheeks none-to-subtly flare up with a blush as he mutters,]

Uhh... Yeah! I'd be ... I'd be okay with that. If you are.

[It just takes a moment or two for Sora's racing heart to calm down and stop pumping blood into his face. This is normal for two friends. Especially two that have been friends since they were little. But this is Kairi and it's so obvious how much he adores her beyond friendship. It's so warm like this.]

You know, when we were little I felt like I always had better dreams when we had sleepovers.

[He admits this with a small happy smile.]

Guess you've always been my guiding luck charm.

[heartslight]

[ Oh gosh ... That makes her smile so warmly — she feels so happy to hear that, and she just overall feels a little warmer, whether it's out of happiness that she can provide something like that to him or just because of how she feels about him. ]

Then we really should do this more often, huh? [ She exhales a small laugh. But she's definitely being serious. ] I've always felt the same way. Kind of like you were protecting me in my dreams.

[ One guides, and the other protects — and both end up being happier for it. ]

I remember one time, when we were really little, you did show up in my dream. To protect me. [ A literal protector, in this instance, rather than just his presence keeping the bad dreams away. ] I spent the whole next day wondering if I should ask you if it was really you. Kind of silly, huh?

[ She knows that sort of thing can't happen ... probably. Well she can't be so sure now that she's heard of what's been happening to him, but ... it was still silly of her younger self. ]

[oathkeeper]

[That tiny confession has Sora let out a small laugh, his fingers coming up to rub at his nose.]

Aww, you should of asked if it was me. Did I at least look like a cool knight in shining armour? I hope so.

[It's so comfortable like this. Talking about good dreams instead of nightmares. He prefers this so much more than dwelling on the negative things. She puts his heart at such ease and he can already feel the sleepiness catch up to him.]

[heartslight]

[ Mmnn, she likes this, too. And she's glad to see him happy — really glad. It makes her heart feel so warm, to see him smile.

She scoots a little closer to him, laughing softly herself. ]

The coolest. [ Really, he was just himself. His normal self. But that's precisely what makes him the coolest, to her. ] Like always.

[ Is that making her feelings too obvious? Oh well. ]

[oathkeeper]

[That makes him grin. Leave it to Kairi to be so open about agreeing with Sora looking cool when most people wouldn't be caught calling him that (riku, donald). He feels a bit proud.

Sora shifts a little closer too and he feels courageous enough to reach a hand out to touch her hair, tucking a lock of it behind her ear gently.]

Hey. [A knight. He wants to be a good one. For her.] I'll always do my best to protect you. You know that, right? Nightmares or dreams and outside of those too...

[heartslight]

[ Her smile fades a little at the seriousness of what he's saying, before returning back to a smile, as she moves a hand to rest atop his, holding it to her cheek gently. ]

I know. You've come for me every time. And I always know you will. [ Dreams, or real life. Sora's never failed her, and she's never even considered that he might. ]

And I'll do the same for you. Just like now.

[ She's here for him, forever and always. And she pushes her cheek into the hand she's holding to it, a little. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Her touch is so warm. It's always been this comforting light in the midst of all the darkness that he faces. Sora's smile softens and he can't help the flourish of silly love he feels inside his chest.

Maybe part of his nightmares have been that fear of not being able to be there for her. All those times that she's been just slightly out of his reach, ripped away from him... He wants it to stop. He just wants to hold her.]

Yeah. I don't think I'll have any nightmares tonight.

[As long as his heart knows that she's there protecting him too. Sora can't help the urge to pull her to him as he gently reaches to tug her into a hug. Finally, those nervous butterflies are leaving his stomach.]

[heartslight]

[ She feels the same — she only wants to be close to him, but they're always ripped apart for one reason or another. It feels so warm to just spend the night with him. Like it's something that's long overdue.

When he pulls her in, for the first time she feels some butterflies. She's always been so much better than he is with dealing with situations like this — a lot calmer, less easily flustered. But the warmth of his hug, being so close to his heart that she can hear it beating, after a moment of silence. It all just feels so good.

She smiles softly to herself, a small exhale of contentedness escaping, before she moves an arm to hug him in return, resting it on his back.

And she nods, with her head up against him. ]

I'll make sure of it.

[oathkeeper]

Heh. Thanks.

[He wants to remember this when they wake up tomorrow. When they part ways and Kairi goes to train with Lea and Yen Sid and Sora departs on his own journey. He wants to remember the way her heart beats so close to his and the light and warmth of the space between them.

Sora can't help it, he shifts a little closer and brushes his lips against her forehead in a small gentle and telling kiss.]

Goodnight, Kairi.

[He feels sleep start to take him over. And hopefully, he won't drool in his sleep because wouldn't that be ultimately embarrassing.]

[heartslight]

[ The feeling of his lips on her forehead, doing that, makes her heart flutter. She can't help the wide smile her lips are instantly tugged into, nor can she help herself when she exhales softly and contentedly and pushes her face into his neck a little, rubbing her nose against him in a sort of half eskimo kiss. Like a happy puppy.

She doesn't want to forget this either, and this feeling will drive her strongly through her training to come. She'll have this to fall back on any time she misses him. ]

Goodnight, Sora.